There are many ways we'd rather not start our day, but reading hirsute, temperamental actor Alec Baldwin on the Huffington Post, as he tries to get himself re-worked up over political injustice by using graphic sexual metaphors, might top the list:
Gore, who limped off of the American political stage after the 2000 election after being gang raped by Dick Cheney, Justice Sandra Day O'Connor and James Baker...
Gang rape? Really? On a Monday? In the first paragraph?
We can hardly wait for the next installment, when Baldwin likens the two-party system to double penetration.
The Specialist [HuffPo]
!["...This is a real paradox for me: My entire life I've been told I wasn't pretty enough. My entire life I was told by people that I was ugly, that I was too tall, that I was flat-chested, that I was this, that I was that. When I was a stripper I was never quite pretty enough. I was never one of the beautiful girls. I was never one of the top earners. Suddenly I achieve something in my life that is purely intellectual and purely creative, and I'm being told that it's because I'm pretty. To me that is the weirdest, most ironic thing ever. Like all of a sudden I'm attractive when it suits people's purposes. But in the past when I needed to be attractive I was ugly. So let's pick. Which is it?" — Juno screenwriter Diablo Cody [Minneapolis City Pages]](https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--ONS8aczB--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_center,h_180,q_80,w_320/18s10utp0femfjpg.jpg)
