Paris Hilton AssFlapWatch: The Return Of The Mystery Ass-Goiter

Since it is our sworn duty to report on photographic evidence of the puzzling configurations occasionally achieved by parts of Paris Hilton's anatomy during her public appearances, we solemnly pass along this latest image of the heiress' much-discussed, mysteriously recurring ass-flap that was captured on film while Hilton was partying in St. Tropez. While this newest picture presents an asscheekgoiter in the right buttock area not quite as pronounced as in the photos from October, it seems that the flesh-apron effect now spreads across both sides of her posterior, with slightly more of the mass concentrating on the left buttock. We recommend a program of looser underthings, targeted exercise, and vigorous deep-tissuse massage to minimize and redistribute the problematic, excess skin more evenly before her next concert.

[Photo via OHNOTHEYDIDN'T]