There can be only one: Larry Ellison vs. Mel Gibson for "King of Malibu"

Before anyone forgets, the throne of Malibu, lately claimed by a drunk Mel Gibson, could really belong to Larry Ellison. The Oracle owner snapped up a $100 million spread of Malibu beach property two years ago — it's just one of his many playgrounds, along with his Japanese-style estate and his Gulfstream V.

So if it comes down to a battle for Malibu (which we hope will be played out in the streets, along the lines of Baz Luhrmann's version of Romeo and Juliet), who would win? Mel may have some serious stunt-training in him (or at least some Drunken Boxing practice), but Larry could hire Chuck Norris as a stunt double — and everyone knows that Chuck Norris doesn't fight. Chuck Norris kills.

Malibu owner No. 1, please step forward [SignOnSanDieago; Photo by Bart Nagel]