AdRants points us to the blog of Dieste Harmel & Partners' Creative Director Mack Simpson, who has made a horrifying discovery about himself: He's responsible for Koren Zailckas' alcoholism. Turns out Mack was responsible for the campaign behind Tequiza, a beer/tequila product that inexplicably still exists. A friend of his showed him this passage from Zailckas' best-selling memoir Pretty Girl Drank a Lot:
"What does sell [alcohol], especially to women, is sex as an idea. Even more than men, we buy the concept that sex is a tricky proceeding. We understand that interacting on the coed level is a struggle for dominance, one that involves a million fouls and false starts, where the playing field is never level, and where one player almost always has the advantage. That's why Anheuser-Busch advertises Tequiza using the brazen taglines 'Actually, size does matter' and 'They're not real, so what?'"
Mack is understandably upset that the pure artistry he conceived of to sell alcoholic beverages might have been the reason a young girl consumed so many of those alcoholic beverages. And while Mack expresses his regret, we think it may be a bit misplaced. We've both consumed Tequiza and read Smashed, which it apparently inspired; if anyone deserves an apology, it's us.
Famous, but not in a good way [Adverb]
Note To Zailckas Fans: We're sure you loved Smashed and it changed your life. No need to suggest that our dismissal of it stems from jealousy: It does. We admit it. We're drunk right now, where's our fucking book deal?
Note To Tequiza Fans: Please stop reading this blog.