BREAKING: Media Company Evaluates Employee Performance

Ah, the joys of real journalism. This afternoon's mail call at Gawker HQ included a handwritten envelope without return address, mailed yesterday from somewhere in New York. Casting aside our natural fear of anthrax (we figured any white powder in Jon Friedman's possession is probably just residue from that morning's donut) we opened it, only to find that some anonymous source had sent us... a copy of Bloomberg News' Performance Evaluation forms! Can you feel the excitement? Full details (sans scans; this is the least interesting document, graphically, that we've ever seen) after the jump.

The form itself is fairly standard, corporate-wise: Provide a self-critique, list your goals for the following year, etc. There's an odd bit about whether or not you've fulfilled "'the five Fs'" as defined in THE BLOOMBERG WAY"; whatever they are, they're probably nowhere near as fun as we're imagining. It's toward the end of the document that things get interesting:

"For Team Leaders Only:
6. Please provide data on your five-week performance in the New York Times for the past year."

So apparently, success at Bloomberg is determined by how many stories you can get into The Times. Here's our tip to our friends over at Bloomberg: You can't go wrong with "fat logs" in local bodies of water.

Thank you, anonymous tipster! If the rest of you out there care to share your own organization's performance reviews, or even memos about pilferage from the breakroom refrigerator, please feel free to send them to us. E-mail is great, but there's something so "real" about getting documents in the post. Makes us feel lie actual reporters. Anyway, back to Adrian Grenier sightings.