Breaking: Celebrity Weekly Possibly Inaccurate

This will shake to your very core, but: Us Weekly might be wrong. In response to the mag's scoop today that Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn were engaged (a story considered so steeped in actual facts that it merited a segment on the Today show), Aniston's publicist Stephen Huvane has told E!, "It is not true—they are not engaged." Fuck. No. God. Lies. Fuck. It hurts. The aching no the hurt it bleeds our heart it bleeds salty tears the bleeding no no nothing's real salty hurt no mother please no

Stop. Breathe. It's okay. We're going to get through this together. We just have no idea how.

Jen and Vince Deny Latest Engagement Rumor [E!]
Earlier: Stop Everything You're Doing: Aniston, Vaughn Engaged