Goooooood morning, fear-stricken Americans! British authorities have announced that they've foiled a major terror plot to blow up planes traveling between Britain and the U.S. 21 people were arrested overnight; the plan was to smuggle liquid-based explosives in their carry-on luggage. American, United and Continental airlines were targeted and the unconfirmed number of planes identified for attack has varied between six and ten. You know, just enough to create "mass murder on an unimaginable scale," according to British officials. Actually, we kind of can imagine the scale, but that's beside the point.
What it means for you: air travel is kind of fucked, especially in the U.K. (where passengers may not take any carry-on luggage, just passports (one Manchester woman said, "Eight hours without an iPod - that's the most inconvenient thing." Right!). On American flights, all liquids, gels and lotions are verboten, so that screws your plans to join the mile-high masturbation club. Maybe next week.
As always, American authorities are using this opportunity to remind you to shit your pants; in a Homeland Security press conference, Alberto Gonzalez noted, "Every day is September 12." And doesn't Oliver Stone know it!*
*To be fair, raising the threat thermometer is a major coup on behalf of Paramount marketing. Well done.