Every time you fail to send a nomination for Great Moments in Journalism, baby Jesus cries. Don't make baby Jesus cry.
Today's nominee was originally noted over at whatever-the-hell-we're-calling-it-sibling Wonkette, and it comes from the Washington Times, a paper whose reporting staff makes the Wall Street Journal's editorial staff seem balanced. And medicated. In any event, no jump today, because all you need to see is the opener:
Cubans have no idea whether dictator Fidel Castro is lying at death's door or sitting up and watching reruns of "Jeopardy."
We'll take "Terrible First Sentences" for $500, Alex.