Nicholas Cage Buys A House As Creepy As He Is

As international airport security checkpoints are being frantically refitted with urinals and spitbuckets in a panicked effort to confiscate every last drop of errant fluid that may later be turned into a deadly detonation device, it seems, for better or worse, that World Trade Center couldn't have chosen a more appropriate weekend to premiere/re-scare the shit out of us. Satisfied that his work here is done, WTC star Nicholas Cage has reinvested some of the dividends from his Campaign of Healing™ into himself, purchasing his very own castle way off in, of all places, low-on-terrorists'-to-do-list Bavaria:

Last month he bought a castle in Bavaria called Schloss Neidstein. The inspiration? His mom.

"Her ancestors are all from good old Bavaria," Cage, 42, tells the German magazine Bunte about his mother, dancer Joy Vogelsang. [...]

Schloss Neidstein sits on a hill with a stunning view of its 395 acres of forest, meadows and fields. The castle itself has 28 rooms, including 10 bedrooms and five bathrooms - 9,688 square feet in total.

The story about his mom is sweet, though we have a feeling his purchase has less to do with honoring his Teutonic heritage, and more to do with the eccentric actor wanting to fully embrace the vampire lifestyle. It's a delusion that first planted itself in Cage's head early in his career, with his cockroach-eating turn in Vampire's Kiss, and most probably won't end until Cage lies with a broken leg in a thicket thirty feet below his bedroom window, after unsuccessfully thinking his bat wings would carry him across the Bavarian night sky.