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• At least someone is trying to keep Madonna's lesbian cougar tendencies in check. [Liz Smith]
• Heidi Klum and Elle McPherson wage war over nickname "The Body," not realizing that the rest of the world just thinks of them as "old." [Lowdown]
• Matt Dillon is just as big of a schmuck in real life as he seems in his movies. World unimpressed. [Page Six]
• "Actor Stephen Baldwin is the born-again, George Bush-loving Baldwin brother, but who knew he's also a fan of threesomes in the bedroom?" You mean besides anyone who saw his movie Threesome? Also: gross. [Lowdown]
• Old Jew hears about success of David Cross impersonator, makes adjustments for age, becomes Larry David impersonator. [R&M]
• Dave Navarro no longer in love wit a stripper. [CNN]