• Suri Cruise surfaces like some kind of Loch-Ness Yeti.
• Gwyneth Paltrow has AIDS.
• Vince Vaughan and Jennifer Aniston get engaged. Or not. Whatever. The important thing is that they either love or don't love each other.
• Terror plot thwarted in London. Back here in New York, the citizen-soldiers nap the borders.
• Chris Wilson leaves Page Six for Maxim. Shouts of "SHOW US YOUR TITS!" ignored.
• After all the audition tapes, casting calls, and hardscrabble competition, the MTV reality show hopefulls should have known the easiest way to get a plum gig at Rolling Stone was to just be Theo Wenner.
• Reuters photographer let go for poor Photoshop skills. In unrelated news: Suri Cruise photograhped for first time.

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