Bird flu may still be knockin' em dead in China and poppin' up in Michigan, but quite frankly, it's just not sexy enough to stay even in the first section anymore. You'd be lucky to see it in "World" or "International"; more likely, bird flu is barely scary enough to end up in a "Briefly" bullet point (even Chloe Sevigny remains unfazed). Perhaps the problem is no coherent alert scale that allows for quick ledes and instant news, like the color-coded terror alert levels from the Department of Homeland Security. Therefore, Design Observer helpfully provides the Threat Advisory Pandemic Alert System (TAPAS), which classifies bird-flu threat levels by degrees of fearsome birdlife and permissible poultry-eating strategies. Chicken nuggets are out by "Crow."