Recent Andy Dick hand-biting/face-licking/groping victim Mandy Stadtmiller offers some highly amusing outtakes from the Page Six item on her after-party assault on her blog, which include the happy news that an informal medical consult on her Dick-inflicted wounds revealed that they probably weren't severe enough to transmit any nasty diseases, as well as all the drunken, incoherent babbling about fisherman and tuna you can possibly handle:
Ed note: My right hand is recovering quite nicely, thanks for your concern. And the skin was not broken so my doctor friends assure me that I am probably "not too AIDS-y." Their words. My recording of this incident is so ridiculous that all I can tell you is that I'm strongly considering doing a dramatic re-enactment at Mo's on Thursday night so people can fully appreciate the experience of, say, this extended cut:
"I was doing it because I was desperately trying to tie the show together like a fisherman with tuna, and you're a little piece of fresh tuna, f—-ing bring my net in, tie it all together, tie it together like a throughline, like I'll lick you, I'll lick him, I'll lick her, I'll lick him. It was me trying to tie it all together. You know what? I was giving that to the editor. That was my gift to the editor, you're welcome if they can tie that together then they did my job because I gave it to them. If they didn't then f—- it, you know what whatever. That's it. But thanks for asking. But thanks for asking. Do you want me to lick your face now? Do you want me to lick your c—-? Do you want me to lick your c—-? Do you want me to lick your - bye bye."
We're sure that Stadtmiller was just being demure by not revealing which "c-word" Dick spouted at the end of his tirade, but we can assume that the pansexual party menace is lucid enough during these episodes to properly vary his use of crude slang for genitalia according to the sex of his current victim.
[Photo: Getty Images]
- And why did he go on his licking spree? [BloggyMcBlogalot]
- Previously: Another One Where Andy Dick Gets Drunk, Urinates In Front Of Someone, And Licks Some Faces [Defamer]