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The time: 9:00 p.m.
The date: August 9.
The place: 147 Mercer Street.
Sighted: Saw MK in the ladies room at Mercer Kitchen. Wearing some long dress with a dragon on it and about 8 lbs. of eyeliner. The best part - she didn't wash her hands in the bathroom.

There are plenty of perfectly valid excuses for not washing your hands after going to the bathroom. For instance: you are a quadriplegic; the house is on fire; they are announcing the total pounds lost on Celebrity Fit Club. None of these excuses include run-of-the-mill dirtbag behavior. Unless Mary-Kate didn't need to wash her hands. Unless Mary-Kate was in the bathroom for other, more nefarious reasons.

Though MK is best known for her powerful performance in To Grandmother's House We Go and her Revolutionary soldier rags, readers may not be aware that Michelle Tanner is also disturbingly wealthy. Forbes estimates her riches at $150 million, which means that someone actually purchased the video game "Mary-Kate and Ashley's Magical Mystery Mall." MK is in fact so wealthy that when she suffered from "anorexia," she spared no expense getting the best eating-disorder treatment money could buy — at Cirque Lodge, a "private world-class drug rehab and addiction facility for drug abuse and alcoholism." Not content with the Lodge's standard accommodations, MK signed up for the deluxe package, which includes vehement publicist denial.

Furthermore, this is not the first time MK has used bathrooms for non-bathroom-related activities. In 2005, like the dirtbag she is, MK chain-smoked in the bathroom of the Met's Costume Institute Gala.

So, was Mary-Kate just being gross in Mercer Kitchen's bathroom, or is another trip to Cirque Lodge in the cards? The answer is unclear but one thing isn't — she's got a meeting in the ladies' room.

Gawker Stalker