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In the world of celebrity weeklies, People is like this big, fluffy therapist's couch, where celebrities can lay down and emote and tell their stories exactly as they wish. It's so comfy, industry rumor is that evil queen flack Leslie Sloane-Zelnik once said, "With [People ME] Larry Hackett in charge, I can practically write the story myself." So naturally, the big P is where Jennifer Aniston chose to go to personally refute Us Weekly's claim that she and Vince Vaughn are engaged. She tells the magazine, "When it starts to travel over into the Today show and CNN, and supposedly reliable and accurate news programs, then you just go, 'This is insane. People are getting fed a lot of bull.'"

Wow. A celebrity weekly might be wrong! Stranger things have happened, like when People ran a headline proclaiming "Everything Is Fine!" in the marriage of Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson shortly before they announced their separation. So, you know. But for now, People is Aniston's safe place, and no one can touch her in her cave.

To satiate your hunger for knowledge of Aniston's every heartbeat, we'll leave you with her most revealing quote about the current state of her relationship with Vaughn:

We're just being.

Just being. You know, like, existing and stuff.

Jennifer Aniston: 'I'm Not Engaged!' [People]