Looking at the Look Book

We've no proof of this, but we bet Jarvis Wong, featured in this week's installment of New York mag's Look Book, lives in Brooklyn. The belt, the glasses, the iPod — just a hunch. He's an architect who considers himself an "urban nerd" and likes to dress as as minimal as he designs his buildings. Or something.

After the jump, Intern Alexis gathers Sara Marcus, Rachel Syme and Matt Kirsch, who discover that those glasses are so totally fake. Poseur.

Sara Marcus, writer/musician

Jarvis calls himself an "Urban Nerd." If you were an "Urban Bully," what would you do to him?

I would say "steal his iPod," but he says he's listening to Coldplay on it, so maybe not. At the risk of stating the obvious, may I suggest that this man is clearly CRYING OUT for a nougie. I'd have to make sure he had shaved his head recently, though, because a week's worth of growth would leave me with skinned knuckles and it wouldn't be worth it.

Being an architect and all, what are Jarvis's thoughts on the Brooklyn Ratner project?

He's psyched because then he wouldn't have to go all the way to East Rutherford to see Coldplay.

What do you think about Jarvis's glasses?

First of all, he's a total myopia poseur. He doesn't need those glasses. Look at the right side of his head, where the glasses stick out: The contour of his skull is undistorted by the lens, meaning that it's not a corrective lens. The only thing worse than somebody with perfect vision who pretends to be a nerd (since true 20/20 nerds do not exist) is somebody with perfect vision who pretends to be a nerd BY WEARING GLASSES HE DOESN'T NEED, thereby cheapening the symbol's resonance for the true sightless nerds of the world. I think the better question is, "What do Jarvis's glasses think about me?" Jarvis's glasses think they're better than me because they don't have to work for a living. They're bloated and lazy. Can I go back to the first question and add that I would bust up his prissy glasses?

What would happen if Jarvis Wong met Jarvis Cocker?

They would have to refer to each other by last names, and things would quickly escalate from there. ("Wong." "Cocker." "Wong?" "Cocker?" "Wong!" "...Cocker!") I sure as hell wouldn't want to be the hotel housekeeper who had to clean up after that one.

Meanwhile, the pair's pairs of glasses, carelessly tossed to the side of the bed, are having a narcissistic tryst of their own. — Please be gentle, pleads Wong's glasses; Sara Marcus just busted me up last
week, and I'm still a bit sore.


Rachel Syme, writer

Jarvis calls himself an "Urban Nerd." If you were an "Urban Bully," what would you do to him?

It is quite possible that Jarvis would be the unlucky recipient of the "urban Melvin," in which his daily pair of tailored, 350-thread count underwear from Barney's Co-op find their way above his glasses. Then I'd rock him with my pair of boating kicks that I had handmade over the course of many months by a real fisherman's wife in Ana-Capri that will never, ever be available at Jeffrey. Or maybe I'd just swipe his protractor and call him four-eyes. That much immaturity seems like Wong kryptonite.

Being an architect and all, what are Jarvis's thoughts on the Brooklyn Ratner project?

Given that Jarvis doesn't really "do Brooklyn" these days, he still finds the whole thing a quite engaging topic of conversation during his bi-monthy petit degustation loft parties. Though he likes to pander to the Develop Don't Destroy coalition (his spectacles hookup works with Safran Foer and Lethem; can't burn that bridge), he secretly loves the idea of ginormous, hulking buildings juxtaposed with cobblestone hood-ness. It's so crossimilated!

What do you think about Jarvis's glasses?

Something tells me he's got the best rims in the firm.

But really, the question should be: what do I think about Jarvis without his glasses? Because I'm totally stumped there. His face is so nondescript without those frames that I don't even realize he's in the room sometimes. Then the only way I know he's around is the faint hum of mediocre Brit rock.

What would happen if Jarvis Wong met Jarvis Cocker?

J-Wong would be a little wary at first. I mean, that stunt with Michael Jackson was the opposite of minimal. And dude stole myspace.com/jarvspace before J Dubs could get to it. But they would ultimately warm to each other. They both like black plastic; things that are French.


Matt Kirsch, Duder

Jarvis calls himself an "Urban Nerd." If you were an "Urban Bully," what would you do to him?

I'd probably punch him in the 'botanical gardens,' if you know what I mean.

Being an architect and all, what are Jarvis's thoughts on the Brooklyn Ratner project?

Well, Jarvis submitted his own proposal for that same piece of land but it was rejected. Honestly, I'm sort of excited to live near a new basketball stadium, but I'd much rather've lived next to a life-size replica of the Ancient Klingon City, Glaarg.

What do you think about Jarvis's glasses?

At one point I really really liked them. I agreed entirely with him that it made his boring, unimpressive face look less Asian. But when I heard they weren't prescription, I don't know, I wouldn't say I freaked, but I definitely stopped going to Yoga for a few days.

What would happen if Jarvis Wong met Jarvis Cocker?

Jarvis W. would mistake Jarvis C' severe deafness from rocking so hard for urban cynicism, something like this:

W: Are those pants Banana Republic?
C: What?
W: Right on, man.