• Kevin Federline performed at last night's Teen Choice Awards. There are no words to describe this national nightmare. [Egotastic]
• Rapper Busta Rhymes was arrested Saturday on felony assault charges; he allegedly beat a "fan" into a concussion on August 12 in Chelsea. Granted, the fan spit on the rapper's car before getting his ass kicked — guess he's just lucky that Busta didn't use the machete police found in his car. A machete. Really? Is that how far a rapper has to go just to prove his cred nowadays? [NYDN]
• Tom Hanks on Asians: they all look the same. And operate pedicabs. [Page Six]
• Just three weeks after Julianne Moore and family bought a puggle puppy, the poor thing died of distemper. Meanwhile, Melania Knauss uses Craigslist to find a serial killer/nanny. [Gatecrasher]
• Not only is Mel Gibson likely denying the Holocaust, but his Jewish publicist is denying the denial. You follow? [Page Six]
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