Already Over: Gothamist's "What's Fresh"

There's no small irony — that's right, you heard us, irony — in a regular column entitled "What's Fresh" turning out stale as a desiccated corn-cob. The very idea of not just one post, but an ongoing series of Gothamist blog posts dedicated to whatever greenmarket item comes to hand is deadly dull enough to make grandma's cat hack up a doily in disgust. But perhaps the column gives us a colorful, intrepid culinary adventurer who hunts down the most exotic and startling ingredients available in this cosmopolitan city? What exciting things have recently been fresh?

Why, there's peas! And beets! Calm down before you go further, because now it's time to learn all about lettuce. You know you can make salads with that shit? And dressings can "range from vegetables to croutons to nuts to (dried) fruit." What's not fresh: fresh fruit on salad, apparently. If you have any stamina left for more, then you can climax with "What's Fresh: Potatoes." That's right, they totally went there. Now there's no reason to begrudge a picayune subject, since that's what blogging's all about. But when you're seriously suggesting someone cross town to obtain a particular Yukon Gold, that better be a euphemism for some fantastic drugs.