Sunset Junction Goes VIP

According to LA Observed, this year's Sunset Junction festival will finally take much-needed steps to ensure that visiting celebrities have a place where they can avoid awkward interactions with the teeming masses in the VIP-level comfort to which they are accustomed, eliminating the shame and inconvenience of having to hide from overeager fans behind the butch, assless-chaps-clad mannequins at the bondagewear booth:

This weekend's festival will have a "first-ever VIP hospitality lounge." It will be at the Cliff's Edge restaurant on Sunset, where the flakkery says that "headliners from the street fair and other special guests and celebrities can relax in The Oronoco Green Room, a custom-created environment that showcases the latest music-inspired trends and environmentally-friendly fashion and design." It's nice that they are finally carving out a special refuge for celebrities at Sunset Junction.

It is precisely at times like these that we look to eastside hero Kiefer Sutherland to get nice and liquored up, use his celebrity status to gain entry to the VIP lounge, and start tackling any item of "environmentally friendly fashion and design" that his Tecate-addled brain tells him might be a hated Christmas tree. Drunken Jack Bauer, you are our only hope.