Riding the Entire Subway in Record Time (and Other Lessons in Defying Reality)


Tomorrow at 6 AM, suspected bong collectors Matt Green and Don Badaczewski (above) will get off of their couch and attempt to break the world record for riding the entire NYC subway system in the least amount of time. The current unconfirmed record stands at 25 hours, 11 minutes, but Green and Badaczewski will attempt to subvert the laws of MTA's nature and beat the time — though, just from the looks of them, we worry that they've not contacted the proper record-keeping authorities. ("Dude, you said YOU were gonna call!") From their press release, written in the third person:

While many in New York City show a casual interest in riding the subway, these two men will take it to another level, spending a steamy August day and night trapped in the sweltering subway, subsisting only on beef jerky and water, riding the rails until they have passed through every single station. It is unclear why two men would voluntarily submit themselves to such a harrowing ordeal; it probably has something to do with a need for attention or perhaps blunt head trauma sustained at a young age.

Would you call your subway riding a casual interest? Try bestial necessity. But no matter: these two guys have it in their damaged heads that this is a dream to be achieved (though to the rest of the mass-transit using world, it's a cruel indignity to be suffered). Their complete route, not including which stations where they'll stop to piss on the platform:

Start: Rockaway Park at 6 am
S to Broad Channel
A to Far Rockaway
A to Rockaway Blvd
A to Lefferts Blvd
A to High St
A to Broadway Junction
L to Canarsie
L to 14th St/8th Ave
A to Inwood
A to 168th St
1 to Van Cortlandt Park
1 to Times Square
7 to Queensboro Plaza
N to Ditmars Blvd
N to Queensboro Plaza
7 to Flushing
7 to 74th St/Broadway
V to 23rd St/Ely Ave
G to Hoyt-Schermerhorn
C to Franklin Ave
S to Botanic Garden
3 to New Lots Ave
3 to Franklin Ave
2 to Flatbush Ave
2 to Fulton St
J to Broad St
J to Fulton St
4/5 to Bowling Green
4/5 to Fulton St
2/3 to Chambers St
1 to South Ferry
1 to Chambers St
3 to 148th St
3 to 110th St
2 to Wakefield
2 to E 180th St
5 to Dyre Ave
5 to 125th St
4 to Woodlawn
4 to Yankee Stadium
D to Norwood
D to Grand St
D to Rockefeller Ctr
F to Jamaica
F to Kew Gardens
E to Jamaica Ctr
J to Myrtle Ave
M to Middle Village
M to Myrtle Ave
J to Chambers St
4/6 to 59th St/Lexington Ave
N to 59th St Brooklyn
R to 95th St
R to 36th St
D to Coney Island
N to Pacific St
Q to West 8th St
F to West 4th St
A/E to Canal St
E to 51st St
6 to Pelham Bay Park

Keep an eye out for these marathon riders; if you see them, be sure to give them the requisite water in a paper cup.

Subway Challenge [MySpace]