Paris Hilton Sells Herself On YouTube


Last night at Hyde, Paris Hilton and YouTube were crowded into a bathroom stall, finishing off the last of Tube's eightball (please, you think Paris is sharing her stash?) while killing time waiting for their plate fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies to arrive at their booth, when Hilton accidentally struck her head on the toilet paper dispenser after standing up too quickly. "I have, like, an idea?" said the heiress, her brand-building synapses now activated by blunt cranial trauma. "OK, here goes: I promote my new album on your web video situation. You get to look like you have a business model, and I get to have a camera pointed at me so I can say things like, 'YouTube is the hottest thingy on the whatever.' Maybe we can even do videos with me standing in a studio, pretending like I made some music. We both win and stuff." YouTube, of course, distracted by its pleasantly tingling gums and elated just to be sharing a private moment with one of celebritydom's most accomplished business minds, agreed immediately, offering to give Hilton's ads prominent placement on their front page, and an unholy partnership was born.

The cookies, if you must know, arrived eventually and were appropriately wholesome and delicious.

[The above image is not the video mentioned in the post, as we couldn't bring ourselves to embed it here. You won't have a hard time finding it should you wish to opt in to their campaign.]