Bam Margera's Uncle Don Vito Fails To Notice The 'Do Not Touch The 12-Year-Olds' Sign

Vincent "Don Vito" Margera, frequent victim of nephew Bam Margera's merciless pranksterism and an ideal candidate to be stuffed-canneloni'd to death by a Se7en-inspired serial killer, was formally charged today with "two felony counts of sexual assault on a child," after a boozy appearance Friday at an autograph signing event in Colorado resulted in allegations that he groped two underage fans:

Both counts are class-four felonies; a spokesperson for the Jefferson County District Attorney's office said the charges don't necessarily carry a mandatory prison term, but if convicted, Margera could face two years in prison and/or probation that could last from a mandatory 10 years up to lifetime supervision. [...]

He is accused of inappropriately fondling or groping two girls, ages 12 and 14, during two separate incidents at a signing event at Woodward Skatepark at Colorado Mills mall Friday night...He was held in jail without bond until Monday, when he posted $50,000 bond and was released.

While the allegations are serious, the events are already being written into the loosely interactive plot for Tony Hawk's Underground 3 Remix, where in addition to exploring a 3D skateboard environment as Bam, players can now choose an incredibly lifelike Don Vito avatar, spending hours perfecting such new added tricks as Fondlings, Tailgrabs, and 360° Reacharounds as they skate through an American Girl Place store in an expansive mall level.