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"I love watching people's reactions as they get on the train," she goes on. "They look totally lost ... like they're someplace they shouldn't be."

Could be the opening lines to a 24-year-old's memoir or a quirky romantic comedy, but instead it's a chatty cathy riding one of the sleek new driverless subway cars on the N line. Awkward silences are further punctuated by awkward banter, until, inevitably, the moment is spoiled by a homeless man who expresses alarm that "These trains talk." Someone's definitely where they shouldn't be. Watch for the homeless guy's Craigslist posting.

Ooh, Shiny! [East Village Idiot]