Queen Amidalah Wishes Israel, Lebanon, Dagobah System Could All Just Get Along

The Post provides a startling reminder of the raw courage that is the American celebrity:

August 29, 2006 — THAT Natalie Portman is braver than most. She went to visit her family in Israel last week despite the war with Hezbollah and will return "shortly"...

Bravest Natalie Portman! Sweet child of war! We are sure that she traveled into only the most devastated regions, by the most insecure means, sleeping in shattered ruins and eating baked beans out of a can with a plastic spoon. And where's the fucking thank you note from Israel? Hey, Israel, eat shit! We send you Natalie Portman, a woman so brave she could single-handedly win the war and charm a man twice her age in every single movie she's ever been in, and you send us bupkis?!

The coy quotation marks around "shortly" are a little disconcerting. Bitch better have her legs when she get back or Hezbollah is going to have a lot of angry Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace fans to deal with.

Page Six [NYP]