Defamer Interior Designs: Decorating Tom Cruise's New Office

Now that unexpectedly disowned, fading megastar Tom Cruise and his Cruise/Wagner Productions are swimming in amusement park money*, it won't be long before partner/Gal Friday Paula Wagner finds their soon-to-be homeless company some new office space so spectacular that it will make them forget they were ever gently cradled in Paramount's $10-million-per-year bosom. Of course, C/W's next headquarters will at first lack the personal decorating touches that make an otherwise sterile workspace feel warm and inviting, so we've helpfully compiled a list of terrifying lovingly crafted, Cruise-inspired art (the skeptical might question the intentions of the Clown Cruise refrigerator magnet's creator, but great works of creativity are open to interpretation) for sale on eBay that will remind the actor and his employees whom they really work for: the fans who still connect with Cruise's endearingly eccentric side.

Tom Cruise Limited Ed Art Drawing Print, TOM CRUISE CLICK ME BABY MOUSEPAD, Hilarious Tom"Clown" Cruise Jumbo Fridge Magnet!, Tom Cruise - Original Oil Painting on Canvas, Tom Cruise Oil Painting - Limited Canvas Edition, TOM CRUISE ORIGINAL PAINTING SILK SIGNED

[*We're really hoping that this phrase will quickly work its way into common usage, as in, "I just sold a project to Warner Bros., but eh. Just amusement park money."]