Like Shooting Robert Evans in a Barrel

Robert Evans sucks.

He's probably done something at some point in his life that was worthwhile, but basically he's just a schlocky, drug-addled womanizer with a bunch of money, and not that there's anything directly wrong with that, but he makes shitty movies. (Last project? How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. What an asshole.) Oh, I'm friends with Jack Nicholson. So what? Who cares about Jack Nicholson? The Lakers?

We remember seeing The Kid Stays in the Picture a couple of years ago and it got towards the end when Evans had entered his Austin-Powers-fucked-Elton-John-and-gave-birth-to-what-the-fuck-is-Robert-Evans-wearing phase and it's like someone pull the plug. There's got to be a nurse on duty who sees that it's only going to cause more pain and suffering to keep this guy around.

But this week Evans keeps popping up in the news. First there was the gossip about how he wasn't happy with the "Robert Evans" character on Entourage. Now there's a big puff-piece in the New York Times and it's just like, eww.

So apparently the crappy kid does stay in the stupid picture, although we don't call them "pictures" anymore, great-great-grandpa, they're called movies, and you suck.