This image was lost some time after publication.

The Smoking Gun has obtained the mugshot of corpulent-uncle-to- the-Jackass-stars Vincent "Don Vito" Margera, which we've reproduced here for your nightmare-eliciting convenience. While sitting for his booking photograph, Don Vito keeps one eye firmly trained on the door at all times, steadfastly maintaining complete innocence of having fondled two teenage girls at a Colorado autograph signing. His famous nephew, Bam Margera, stands by him—eventually—saying in a recent interview with that it was a "bad move" on his uncle's part, having merely "tapped a boob during a photo," but then quickly downgrading it to "no tappage happening" after an unidentified male voice's off-camera protests managed to convince the moron nephew that he wasn't doing his uncle any favors with his potentially incriminating version of events.