Because daytime television is THE MOST IMPORTANT SHIT IN THE WORLD, your panties are no doubt soaked with excitement over celebrity lesbian Rosie O'Donnell's debut as the new co-host on The View. If you're so cursed (or blessed) as to not be watching it live, let us just note that it's really not worth a live-blog. In fact, the only excitement is just in seeing Rosie O'Donnell sitting there with nice hair and makeup (per her contract). She acknowledged that her old alpha-lesbian routine terrified America and, to make it up to everyone, Rosie's even wearing high heels on her first day. See? She's a lady. And oh, how the ratings will skyrocket! (Granted, Rosie could come out and do her shortbus routine and lick a can of peas, and ABC would reap the rewards.)
Other early highlights: constant references to Rosie's life partner, Kelly; Rosie excitedly proclaiming her love for Billie Jean King; Elisabeth Hasselback talking about her kid peeing on her in the tub. Rosie could barely sit still during that last one — not even contractually mandated femininity can hold a good dyke down.