Suri's Big Day: Katie Finds Her Voice

Since we haven't been able to locate our own copy of Vanity Fair's much-anticipated All-Cruise Issue (what kind of a godless wasteland do we live in, where piping-hot copies of VF aren't immediately available?), we're forced to dine only on the meager morsels doled out by the magazine's website. There seems to be some good news in their twenty-two jam-packed pages of Cruise coverage, as childbirth seems to have at least temporarily cured Katie Holmes of the crippling expressive disorder that once limited her vocabulary to simple words communicating positive feelings about her captivity. Teases VanityFair.com:

"I was overjoyed in being pregnant," Holmes tells Sarkin, "and then had to withstand ridicule about my pregnancy when it was the most normal, non-controversial thing imaginable." Of speculation in the press, Holmes says, "All those things were invented." [...]

"The moment the doctor handed me Suri," Holmes tells Sarkin, "I was just ready. The feeling is indescribable. All I can say is the moment I looked in her eyes I felt like ... Mom." Holmes continues: "She's a glorious girl. She's the miracle of our life."

We suppose that Holmes' sudden, relative verbosity could be due to the relief that her words would be recorded for sympathetic publication in a national magazine, instead of placed in a file to be used against her each time she expressed reluctance at undergoing yet another DNA-irrigation session in her finac 's dangerously experimental Level-VII Wombinator.