We have some bad news, and you might want to sit down for this one: indefatigable celebutwat and gifted musician Paris Hilton was arrested early this morning in LA on charges of drunk driving. Shocking not that she was drunk, of course, but that the authorities actually arrested her. LIFE IS SO NOT FAIR!!!
Adding to the indignity of being treated like a common civilian, Hilton was subjected to blowing something other than a Greek heir, resulting in a .08 BAC (the minimum for a DUI in California). In the stunning Paris-Comes-Home-From-the-Slammer video, her pitiable flack Elliot Mintz says she had just one margarita. But according to Paris' party schedule that night, the drink may have been, in fact, a margarita administered at — and this is the best part, really — an Us Weekly party. Who's the host and who's the parasite in that situation?