The Truth About Suri Cruise and the 'Vogue' Source Who Knows Her Well

If you're the type of person who's reading a website like this, there's a good chance you've already gotten an email forwarded to you explaining that the true father of Suri Cruise is actually Chris Klein. According to the email, which we've now had the pleasure of receiving 23 times (but please, don't stop!), the real story is that Katie Holmes was knocked up when the two broke their engagement, and so she quickly took Tom Cruise up on his "be my beard" deal. They acted like press-hungry idiots so everyone would believe they were so insane — er, in love — as to have a baby right away. Cruise gets his cover, Suri's not a bastard, and Katie doesn't look like a ho. The end.

We are 100% certain that this is all steeped in fact. Why? Because the email forwarded to us, in every instance, has come via a "source at Vogue who knows," complete with said source's contact info at the bottom of the forward. Well, shit: if it were coming from Elle or InStyle, we'd scoff. But if it's coming from Conde Nast's Temple of Wintour, that information is rock fucking solid.

But! Just to be sure, we contacted the Voguebot listed at the bottom of these emails; the poor dear was completely unaware that the email, which she had been sent by her sister-in-law, who had found the story on some Australian site, the link to which had been given to her by her best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend, had been making the rounds. In fact, she only sent it to 8 of her friends, who each then sent it to 8 of their friends...

Shocking, but in the end it's all stupid gossip, and not really from an informed Vogue source. Next time, we'll know not to believe anything until it comes from a more respectable source. Like Glamour.