As promised, the 2nd installment of Page Six: the Magazine hit the stands today, and if you can get past the opening Jessica Joffe/Banana Republic spread (and the ads on practically every other page), you'll find a flimsy magazine full of all sorts of litterbox treats. There's plenty of pictures of celebs reading the Post, an odd quote from James Ellroy about how he likes to scratch himself and, best of all, an article on how everyone loves the show Ugly Betty — which is good, because the issue also features a full-page Ugly Betty ad. Well-played, really.

Then there's this here horrifying image of Kathy Hilton (with wee Paris) from a fashion show in 1987; it accompanies an article about Jerry Oppenheimer's new book, House of Hilton, which, among other things, details how Mother Hilton came to be the evil womb responsible for so much hate in this world. Kathy's father is a mere housepainter; as a young climber, she had a tryst with a member of the Jackson 5 (oh, please let it be Tito) when she was 16; and, best of all, Kathy's mother (Paris' grandmother) wanted to make sure her daughter "had all the tools" to land herself a rich husband like Rick Hilton, so she enrolled Kathy in "sex lessons" that were taught by a man in a van in front of their house.

All of which almost explains Paris Hilton. Almost.


Earlier: Page Six: The Magazine: The Return