Tom Cruise's Lawyer: 'My Client Never Had Erotic Wrestling Encounter With Gay Hustler'

Hollywood Interrupted recently published a chapter from a "book-in-progress" by Anthony Pellicano-heavy/gay porn producer/general skeazebag-about-town Paul Barresi. In it, Barresi writes of the time a gay hustler known as Big Red approached him between takes on a porn set, offering up many anecdotes of lusty, same-sex encounters with paying celebrities, most notably among them a detailed account of a wrestling mat tryst with Tom Cruise. (The chapter is here, though you'll find yourself rummaging under the kitchen sink for industrial solvents and SOS pads to scrub yourself with once you're done.) The Scoop approached Scary Hollywood Lawyer Bertram "Bert" Fields for his response:

Cruise's lawyer, Bert Fields, told the Scoop that the allegations made by Barresi are "utterly, one hundred percent false" and "we can prove it." He adds, "If Mr. Barresi were to publish what we have seen on that Web site, I absolutely would recommend appropriate legal action against both Mr. Barresi and the publisher." Fields also says that he's "considering" steps to have the chapter removed from the Web site.

Seeing as the ball-stroking, singlet-sporting Cruise of Big Red's recollections doesn't exactly jibe with the proud father, husband-in-waiting, and late-to-the-party Redskins fanatic we've come to know over the past week, we are hardly surprised that Fields is willing to bring out the heavy artillery in shooting down this particular tell-all missile. Should initial efforts to remove the offending passages not prove effective, we imagine fearsome Fields will promptly move on to Plan B, initiating the first stages of a Constitutional amendment outlawing the false-gay-innuendo spreading scourge known as the internet altogether.