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Pinterest—the social network for prudes and women who knit—got its first political satire account yesterday. Within 24 hours, Mitt Romney's president campaign torpedoed it. More »
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Out of nowhere, the Miami Herald has dusted off and expanded upon one of Washington's oldest and juiciest political rumors: The one about a rising young beltway journalist and his gay affair with a powerful GOP congressman, and how the journalist shot himself in the head when his lover's political rival threatened to out them. According to the Herald, that rival may have been Newt Gingrich. More »
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Yesterday we brought you a C-SPAN prank caller who asked New Hampshire Republican Party Chairman Wayne MacDonald whether Mitt Romney had a large penis (he does). Turns out it was not an isolated incident. Here is a compilation, via Mediaite, of C-SPAN callers—actually one caller, it sounds like—working in references to Mitt Romney's penis over the air. The last one is positively brilliant. Mitt Romney has a huge penis. More »
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With "nothing left to do" on the campaign trail, the Romneys went to the movies this afternoon, where Tagg demonstrated the worst way for a pale-eyed family to pose for a picture: In a dim theater in front of a camera with a flash, which will turn all of their perfect blue eyes into glowing orbs of horror. More »
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The New Hampshire primary is supposed to be a civil, grassroots affair in which Granite Staters politely listen to a class of sophisticated presidential candidates discuss the important issues — trade, housing, etc. — and then pass on their choice of the most serious of the serious candidates for the nation to certify. There is no time for silliness; this is an affair of statesmanship. Also, there's this crazy guy who wears a boot on his head and shouts nonsense who shows up in Manchester every cycle. More »
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Well it's about time that these losers got around to knocking the dickens out of Mitt Romney, that great labor liquidator of the shareholder value revolution. Everyone, right and left, is pointing and laughing the sad galoot over this clip, in which he says he likes firing people. No, scratch that: He says he likes "being able to fire people." What does he really say? More »
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Poor Marcus Bachmann. The gleefully gay-seeming, possibly pushy, highly catty Christian therapist husband of Michele Bachmann suffered two humiliations this week: First, his wife called out his doggie sunglasses shopping spree on live TV. Then, the famously press-conscious fashion fiend ("All I want to know is what they're saying about me," he told New Yorker reporter Ryan Lizza) was forced to stand next to Michele in the critical final moments of her campaign with a giant cold sore on his mouth! Must have been the stress. Tasteful doggie eyewear is not easy to find in Des Moines. More »
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Adorable Texas bigot Rick Perry quickly decamped to the forests of his home state last night to "reassess" his campaign, which is usually what you'd say when you're dropping out but need a couple of days to raise cash and pay off the bills. But Rick Perry is clearly too insane to concentrate on such things for more than a few minutes, so he's already made up his mind and decided to stay in the race. He announced this via Twitter, with a classic "Rick Perry Photo," and without really teling anyone. Good form, Perry! The dream will never die. More »
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Santorum, as followers of politics know, is the Bible-thumping Republican underdog who tied Mitt Romney at last night's Iowa Caucus. Santorum is also, as users of Google and followers of Dan Savage know, a neologism for "the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex." More »
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Last night Obama joined Instagram, the hip iphone photo app that lets you use artsy filters to make your photos look crappy and old, in a romantic way. Obama's really making a bid for the 18-30 "spends too much time on the internet" demo. More »
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The past few weeks have seen an impressive burst of political activism from nerd hive Reddit. Now they're talking about "destroying" senators. Oh jesus, this does not bode well. More »
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1988 Iowa caucus runner-up Pat Robertson — that's still funny, isn't it? — is getting disturbingly cocky in his regular secret magical chit-chats with The Almighty these days. More »
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I'm telling you, CSPAN is just some shit-hot television right now. Everything is incredible. Hell, I watched Ron Paul shake hands after a Des Moines rally last night for 30 minutes—in high-definition. It was great. It's the new MTV! And now what's this, Michele Bachmann jawing on the radio about guns and her favorite gun for a couple of minutes? Sure, tell us all about it. More »
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It's the best part of any presidential election cycle: That period a few days before the Iowa caucuses when no one's working and so you just type some nonsense about the weather in Iowa. What if the weather is snow? Someone wins. What if it is anti-snow, or sun? Well in that case the other schmuck wins. More »
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I'm telling you, CSPAN is just some shit-hot television right now, in Iowa. Hell, I watched Ron Paul shake hands after a Des Moines rally last night for 30 minutes — in high-definition. It was great. It's the new MTV! And now what's this, Michele Bachmann jawing on the radio about guns and her favorite gun for a couple of minutes? Sure, tell us all about it. More »
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Will the Occupy movement destroy the comely state of Iowa? Considering that they plan on interrupting a few caucuses and hollering in some offices, one can safely assume... no. But whatever they're planning on doing, it's apparently enough to scare the Iowa Republican party into secret bunkers, where they'll be safe from this nefarious grasp of "political activists." More »
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It's hard to imagine that Rick Perry, Newt Gingrich, Michele Bachmann, and Rick Santorum were hoping to be days away from the Iowa caucuses and spending most of their time attacking Ron Paul, who just so happens to be crushing them all. But here they are, and boy howdy are they spitting hot fire at this crabby old doctor-paleolibertarian! Here are some highlights. More »
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Rick Perry is still trying to convince Iowa voters that he's the most socially conservative candidate this godforsaken planet has ever seen, in his last ditch-attempt to get anyone to vote for him. We all remember when he was like, why are gays in the military when something something children Christmas Jesus? Then he pounced on his wife, putting her in her place. And now he's announcing that he's upgraded his anti-abortion club membership, after watching a movie about ladies. More »
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Yes, they do ruin Christmas in this web video... for most of you! But as another fat person who enjoys doing the Charleston, I'm partial to this. More »
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Just last week, as Iowans were re-suspecting that he was only in this thing to hawk his dumb Ronald DVDs and alternate histories, Newt Gingrich announced that he would launch a 44-stop(!) bus tour ahead of the caucuses. SEE GUYS? EFFORT. More »
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If you've been too busy celebrating the holidays to keep track of the doings of internet blimp magnate Ron Paul, you might have missed the 50 scans of Paul's various, unbelievably hateful newsletters, published on Mr. Destructo last week. But as pleased as that made us, we're even more pleased to discover @RP_Newsletter, an enterprising new Twitter account that's re-Tweeting the best of those newsletters, 140 characters at a time! More »
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First it was the racist newsletters. Now it's the direct mail advertising them. In a signed appeal to potential subscribers in 1993, Ron Paul urged people to read his publications in order to prepare for a "race war," military rule, and a conspiracy to use a new $100 bill to track Americans. More »
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The scientific and religious consensus that the world is going to end in 365 days when the planet Nibiru collides with earth on December 21, 2012 was dealt a shattering blow yesterday when English druids said their winter solstice ritual was "a good omen for the year ahead." Will 2012 probably be okay because the druids said so? Or will it be the literal end of time because the Mayans* said so? More »
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We took a stroll over to Ron Paul Forums today — an Internet war room for Paul cultists, not to be confused with Ron Paul War Room — to see how they were doing, after their five years of uninterrupted, thankless organizing for Paul that finally brought him to the top of presidential polls was threatening to come completely undone over the story of his racist newsletters. More »
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Rick Perry's latest ad, "American Story," starts off with a good concept: It eliminates "Rick Perry" from the ad altogether, instead leaving things to his wife, Anita. She tells us about their early years, like when Rick Perry joined the Air Force and "flew planes all over the world." Okay, fine. But then, around, :24, her husband makes his entrance. Nay — he makes the campaign ad entrance of the year, hopping onto a ledge. Oh my God. [Standing ovation.] More »
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Former New Mexico Gov. Gary Johnson has dropped out of the Republican presidential race. He rarely ever polled above 8 — people, not percentage points. He made a popular Rush Limbaugh joke about doggie poop during one of the two debates in which he appeared. He took his shirt off for the papers and rode a bike. He courted pagans, online gamblers, and other knaves. And now he will run for the Libertarian party nomination, and maybe decide the presidential election. More »
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Blabbering corpuscle Newt Gingrich told a gay man in Iowa yesterday that he'd rather have gay people just vote for Barack Obama than show the gay community any support. Don't worry, Newt, no one is going to vote for you anyway. More »
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Alright, it was cute when Republican base trolled us with the Trump, Bachmann, Perry, and Cain surges and collapses (surglapses, we'll call them, or perhaps anti-boners), but throwing Newt Gingrich onto the heap of other Potemkin candidates after he was leading by 20 points everywhere like a week ago, this late in the process, is cruel. More »
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Yesterday we brought you the story of Glen Maxey, the gay former Texas legislator who wrote a book recounting his work with an unnamed reporter for an unnamed news outlet to document Rick Perry's homosexual dalliances. According to Politico, that news outlet was none other than the Huffington Post. More »
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Tonight is that most important of nights for Iowa Republicans: Their final chance to see our beloved field of Republican presidential candidates say the same things they say in every debate. But will they say these things differently? Who will fuck up most comically? Go soak that tampon in grain alcohol, put on a fresh pair of pants, and let's find out — together. More »
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There's another Fox News GOP debate in Iowa tonight? Let's make silly jokes about it for two hours! The Gawker Political Desk's coverage will start at 9:00. Until then, we'll be stocking up on chemicals to huff. More »
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Glen Maxey, the first openly gay member of the Texas State Legislature and longtime Democratic activist, spent most of last summer helping a reporter for a "national news outlet" nail down persistent rumors of Rick Perry's sexual relationships with men. The story got killed. So Maxey has published an e-book laying out the evidence. Among the charges: Rick Perry has a small dick. More »
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Hot out of the inbox, from Friends of Christine O'Donnell: "Christine O'Donnell to announce her 2012 GOP Presidential Endorsement tonight." The famed Delawarean anti-onanist will announce this on one of those cable television shows. Sorry to whoever gets endorsed! More »
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After every Republican presidential candidate except Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum dropped out of his debate, chronic mango-lacquered television ailment Donald Trump has decided to drop the whole thing. But "near-total lack of interest from the invitees," you won't be surprised to learn, is not the reason he gives. He is suddenly concerned about conflicts of interest, such as him running for president later on. Very reasonable. Hmm. More »
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Let us thank the Obama campaign's senior strategist David Axelrod for this sterling metaphor today, regarding Newt Gingrich's anus — something we'll see more of as the primary season lingers on. More »
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Thrice-married serial adulterer Newt Gingrich has "endorsed" Iowa's marriage pledge, meaning he has to stop cheating on whoever his wife is now. That's quite a sacrifice. (Update: He left himself some wriggle room, naturally, and didn't technically "sign" it.) More »
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Ron Paul's got it made. While Mitt Romney is struggling to save his pretty-boy campaign, and Newt Gingrich is trying to clarify what "going negative" means, Paul is releasing these long, futuristic ads beating the dickens out of everyone (in this case, Gingrich). More »
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Just as Newt Gingrich was rising to his spot as the nearly prohibitive favorite to win the Republican presidential nomination, he made a pledge not to "go negative" on his political opponents. Or, in cocksure Newt-speak: "They're not going to be the nominee. I don't have to go around and point out the inconsistencies of people who aren't going to be the nominee. They're not going to be the nominee." But guess who's pointing out his opponents' "inconsistencies today, and always, very negatively? This is the worst pledge ever. More »
]]> http://gawker.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5867283&view=rss&microfeed=true Time for your daily dose of Giving Donald Trump Any Kind of Publicity! Today: The shrieking mudbuttface's precious little debate is in tatters. Michele Bachmann has turned him down, setting the final roster of participants at Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, Rick Santorum, and Newt Gingrich, and Rick Santorum. Or some combination of two. More »
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