I Blew a Septuagenarian and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt

The Los Angeles Times dazzles us today with a hard-hitting investigation into the lives of ancient moguls, specifically that of Viacom's Sumner Redstone and News Corp.'s Rupert Murdoch. According to the Times, the "fountain of youth" that keeps these two cranky old men standing upright is — and you're not going to believe this, really — younger wives. Yes, it's true: if you're very old and very rich, securing yourself a significantly younger trophy womb will stave off senility for at least an extra two months!

75-year-old Murdoch's wife Wendy Deng is 37; 83-year-old Redstone's wife, Paula Fortunato, is 44. Both women also exert considerable influence over their husbands' business dealings: Fortunato reportedly prompted Redstone's decision to sever ties between Tom Cruise and Paramount, while Deng allegedy brought in a Feng Shui expert to completely upend office assignments at DirecTV. But though these little exercises in power may provide momentary thrills, they hardly seem worth the price of being legally obligated to handle shriveled Viagara-cock.

Younger Wife, Exotic Fish: The Mogul's Secret to Vitality [LAT]
Earlier: Old Dogs, New Tricks