Homoerotically Disturbed Author Cancels Book Tour

It's late Wednesday afternoon and we're sitting at our computer and there's an email from this flack, this publishing hardbody named Sloane Crosley, and scrawled in blood it says that Bret Easton Ellis, who's always wearing that grey Dior Homme suit from the Spring '05, is cancelling the tour for the paperback release of Luna Park:

Bret Easton Ellis was scheduled to come to the cities listed below on tour for the paperback release of Lunar Park. I apologize for the short notice, but he has broken his foot and has been advised not to fly/travel for several weeks. I am cancelling all tour cities with the exception of LA. If you would still like to speak to him - and your interview does not hinge on an author appearance — I am happy to arrange an interview with Bret from his home.

So very Lohan, no? If he slipped on the stairs while carrying a teacup, we're sold. In a similar but completely unconfirmed vein, we also received the following email:

Just wanted to give you guys a heads up that the upcoming book tour for Bret Easton Ellis' book Lunar Park is cancelled — Ellis has relapsed with his drug use/abuse and is currently in an outpatient center in los angeles.

As always, we're sure that this is total horseshit.