Joe Eszterhas Has Had Better Than Sharon Stone

With a new book to promote, The Devil's Guide to Hollywood, screenwriter Joe Eszterhas has found himself in the position of being forced to finally come face-to-face with Showgirls, which unfolded not unlike the awkward scenario of a father becoming reaquainted with the inbred, pole-dancing product of a regrettable one-night-stand from the early 1990s. After a screening of the film (which we recently noted is being adapted into a stage musical), Eszterhas was willing to concede that perhaps some of the thunderous-laughter-inducing lines weren't entirely intentional, and offered some forthright, firsthand experience regarding the disillusionment that can so often follow the bedding of your film's glamorous, sex-vixen star:

Grilled afterward by The Village Voice's Michael Musto, Eszterhas admitted that his movie is "at times disastrous and terrifyingly over the top" - thanks in part to its star, Elizabeth Berkley.

"Did she sleep with [director Paul Verhoeven] to get a better part?" asked Musto. "There's no way she could have liked him."

"Wait, wait," said Eszterhas. "Verhoeven is a very likable man. Maybe she slept with him because he's a great f-."

As for Eszterhas' own casting-couch practices, Musto asked about Eszterhas' tryst with Sharon Stone, who starred in his film "Basic Instinct."

"It was part of my Vegas show girls research," said Eszterhas.

And how did Stone rank in the sack? "There's a line in 'Basic Instinct' about it being the bang of the century. It wasn't the bang of the century."

To be fair, Stone wasn't approached for her thoughts on Eszterhas' bearish allure or sexual technique, though we suspect she might have returned the lukewarm sentiments: Nothing spoils the heat of passion more than having your partner stop cold, only to bracket his thumbs and index fingers over your nether regions and announce, "INT. Sharon Stone's Vagina. It's dark and cramped in here. Disco music and colorful lights pulsate rhythmically as we move past a crowd of horny lesbians..."