Today's Page Six reports — almost a month after the fact — that Seventeen editor Atoosa Rubenstein's legions are abandoning Big Momma because of her "impossible" demands and the "backbreaking" workload. Why are things so tough around the office? Because Atoosa, you see, is a star. Her dreams of fame and televised glory come first, and every last staffer will work without food or water until the 'Toos meets her goal.

This has us thinking about "celebrity editors," those glossy fools who will do just about anything to keep their mugs on the screen. Cunnilingual Men's Health editor and Dave Zinczenko is, without question, the worst offender, with Atoosa coming in at a close second. Could you imagine if these two combined forces and produced one supreme, self-promoting offspring to rule the world? Shudder:

This image was lost some time after publication.

Baby's first words: "In our fall fashion feature..."

Bloodbath at Teen Magazine [Page Six]