Manhattan Realtors: Satan's Happy Footsoldiers

We've always been of the mind that realtors are the human incarnation of pure evil (see: the CorcoDevil), but perhaps the situation is a bit more literal than one might think. It's one of those great, insane, "Christ, we love this town" sort of stories: Upper West Side resident Daniel Farash put his condo up for sale and then left town for the weekend so that his broker, Julie Johnson of Warburg Realty, could host an open house. The open house didn't go so well, which may have something to do with what Farash encountered upon his return, which was traumatic enough to merit a lawsuit:

Daniel Farash said he returned home to his three-bedroom apartment on West 79th Street after a weekend away to discover many of his mattresses had been urinated on, his belongings broken and laid out in strange patterns - and his broker naked and chanting in a closet.

"I was ambushed. She came out of that closet like a lunatic. She was naked holding my mother's vase in one hand and a towel in another and screaming all this nonsense," Farash, 44, told The Post. "Portions of my house were turned into . . . a satanic temple . . . like some sort of witchcraft. I was in shock. You're talking about your home - you're talking about your real-estate broker."

Farash noticed that Johnson had arranged his broken belongings in "configurations to look like a woman giving birth"; she had also emptied her bowels in his closet and was seen earlier that day running around the building's common areas, naked and screaming.

But? Finally, a broker who isn't a total fake. Better this than those creepy permasmiles.

The Devil's Apt. Broker [NYP]