Republican candidate for New York state attorney general Jeanine Pirro may have the worst luck of any would-be politician ever, but that doesn't mean she can't deliberately act to make things even worse. Faced with — and admitting to — a probe regarding her conversation with disgraced former police commissioner Bernard Kerik about planting a bug on her husband's boat to catch his philandering, Pirro has chosen to go on the offensive. At a press conference today, an angry Pirro exclaimed, "There needs to be a federal investigation of the felony of leaking sealed court documents ... That's the only crime that occurred here. And it's an outrage to the people of this state." Outrage heaped upon outrage! However, what we'd really like to see is the transcript of those recorded phone calls to Kerik, as an agitated Pirro is said to describe her naughty husband-bugging intentions in "profanity-laced terms." No luck finding the transcripts online, but if you see 'em, let us know.