This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.

[Ed, note—Despite a nagging fear that disgruntled E! gossip Ted Casablanca's daily column is being written by a Random Celebrity Name And English-Like Word Generator ever since he aired his grievances, we have heard your pleas, and we are ready to return the Blind Item Guessing game to our weekly rotation. So we better see some guesses flooding in! Enjoy.] Wherein we invite our readers to build a makeshift raft from any buoyant materials handy on their desert islands and push off into the angry, churning sea presided over by humpy E! gossip-Poseidon Ted Casablanca, avoiding a lacerating trident-poke as they guess the identity of his weekly blind item. Marinate in the literal starfuckery of One Headline-Hungry Blind Vice:

Ted sez: "There's no denying that Dorrell Sausage is hot 'n' hunky. His semi-famous name and chiseled mug have been increasingly featured in the rags lately, thanks to a string of high-profile romances. And this ain't by accident,
damn straight.

D.S. went from dating a cute, fairly well known chica to supposedly seeing Pixie Mixie, tabloid darling. See, the D-man wants to be (more) famous himself, imagine that in this me-me-me enclave! And after a halfhearted stab at the spotlight on his own not so long ago (prior to Pixie time), it seems Mr. Sausage—a somewhat cognizant realist with thin lips, thicker things elsewhere—realized it's way easier to get press when you're attached to an It creature." Read the item.

You say: It's been awhile, so pay attention to the directions: Send your guesses to tips[AT] with "blind" in the subject line, and we'll post the results later today.