Paris Hilton AssFlapWatch: Aided By Heiress' Negligence, Mysterious Condition Persists

It is with heavy heart that we note that Paris Hilton, despite great wealth that renders negligible the costs associated with the cutting-edge cosmetic surgery procedures or custom-tailored undergarments that might minimize the unsightly deformation of her hindquarters, has yet to avail herself of either the surgical or sartorial option that might make the highly embarrassing documentation of her recurring ass-flap issues (like the one pictured here, taken at the club Tao in Las Vegas on Saturday night, and obviously noticed by a shocked security guard) a thing of the past. Perhaps things have improved slightly without intervention, as the double-goiter appearing back in August seems to have receded into a single flesh-lapel, but this is no guarantee that the problem will continue to self-correct; the condition is still a mysterious one, and for all we know the next time she hops up on a table at Les Deux, a baffling triple-flap manifestation might present itself before a photographer's unblinking, cruel lens if left untreated.