Valleyspeak: Eric Schmidt's new TIME interview translated

"CEO Eric Schmidt explains what's behind the company's new push for partnerships," promises TIME in its new article, "Google's Chief Looks Ahead." Great, because we've been wondering just that (see "Chaos theory: How to tell if a Google deal means anything" and "Deal or No Deal: Why is Google announcing so many partnerships?"). So what does Eric tell TIME?

Eric:"Toward the beginning of the year, we recognized that we needed to get good at partnerships."
Translation: "Torward the beginning of the year, I was getting bored."

Eric: "We tried to pick partners that represented different initiatives that we wanted to work with for a long time."
Translation: "We threw darts at the infamous Google Master Plan."

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Eric: "[Our partners] have a way of reaching customers that we do not on our own."
Translation: "Damn it, why did we promise we wouldn't make a Google PC?"

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Eric: "You do partnerships for a reason."
Translation: "Like our VP of products says, we just toss stuff against the wall and see what sticks."

Eric: "Everybody's moving to MySpace, basically."
Translation: "I'm reading 2004's trade journals, basically."

Eric: "Microsoft continues to claim to enter the market, but we really haven't seen them yet, they're just getting started. I'm sure eventually Microsoft will be a competitor."
Translation: "Oh snap!"

Eric: "We have a lot of cash. What should we do with the cash?"
Translation: "No seriously, what do we do with all this damn money?"

Google's Chief Looks Ahead [TIME]
Earlier: Chaos theory: How to tell if a Google deal means anything [Valleywag]