'The Break-Up' Publicists Make The Best Of A Tough Situation

While the disastrous, completely unforeseen dissolution of Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn's soul-mate-level bond almost certainly dooms the upcoming DVD release of The Break-Up to instant, bargain-bin obscurity, some publicists insist on seeing the glass that Aniston undoubtedly hurtled at her former partner's head during their heart-wrenching split as half full. This pitch, which bravely ignores the impossible task handed to them by the campaign-crushing appearance of real-life interpersonal strife, landed in our inbox this morning:

Just in time for the real life break up of Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Anniston, we have put together a couple's kitchen helper kits in support of The Break-Up. These kits feature 2 his and hers aprons (one pink and one blue quoting the famous line I want you to WANT to do the dishes, the gloves and 12 stress ball lemons. We could not have received these at a better time and we are sure your site could use these sets in one way or another.

Those poor, poor publicists. They just don't realize that no matter how tightly they squeeze those promotional foam lemons, they'll never be able to extract any lemonade.