Looking at the Look Book

Forget allergen-free cats — how freaking cute are these little guys? This week's edition of New York mag's Look Book appeals directly to the ovaries with Jeziah Robertson and Dakotarome Paul, 6 and 7-year-old cousins, respectively. Dakota thinks he's often mistaken for a 40-year-old because of his sharp suit, and Dakotarome loves dressing up and feeling like a model. Their favorite football team is the "Deadskins" and Jeziah wants to look just like his dad when he grows up and we're going to die old and alone and unloved and barren.

After the jump, Intern Alexis gathers Kevin Lo, Brian Greene, and Henry the Intern to discuss.

Kevin Lo, The Sweet And Lo Down

Where do you see Jeziah and Dakota in 20 years?

Seeing as how people often mistake Dakota for a 40-year-old at age 6, that puts his maturity quotient at a whopping 6.66 (repeating). Ignoring the implications of that figure right there, in 20 years he'll have the gumption of a 173-year-old. It would be wise to befriend him now. And Jeziah? Wharton MBA. He's got that swagger and he can still wear the suits.

What kind of parents produce children such as these? Who are they?

They're probably the kind of parents who would force their son to pursue a career in medicine despite the son's complete disinterest in anything remotely related to the field. Hypothetically, these same
parents would ignore the son's dreams to be a writer and repeatedly remind him of how poor of a writer he is and how crappy he is at writing and how he'll never be a real writer because he... wait, whaa?

What are in their respective right pockets?

If I could see through pants, I would not be here right now. But to hedge bets, Jeziah is sending messages wirelessly via BlackBerry from T-Mobile. Dakota's holding a green and yellow gummy worm. It's
squishy.

How much ass do these kids get?

The cousins constantly face an internal dilemma: Is satisfying the ladies worth the onslaught of cooties? That's where the solid regiment of IronKids bread and Flinstones vitamins comes into play. A Barney Rubble a day keeps the herpes at bay.


Brian Greene, writer and TRL slave

Where do you see Jeziah and Dakota in 20 years?

Does Diddy still have umbrella holders? Cause I think they'd be perfect for that. Or maybe porn. They already have great porn names. Jeziah? Come on!

What kind of parents produce children such as these? Who are they?

Actually they look like they could be the love children of Outkast. We've all heard the rumors about Andre 3000... maybe Big Boi swings that way too.

What are in their respective right pockets?

Dakota's got something innocent. Maybe his favorite aggie. Jeziah's definitely playing pocket pool.

How much ass do these kids get?

Well you can't spell classy without "ass." And these kids are nothing if not classy. They're a bit young right now, but in about 8 years, we better hope every pharmacy in the city is stocking Plan B. For now, they'll have to settle for their occasional spankings when they do something naughty. But I have a hunch that they like that. A lot.


Henry the Intern, former Gawker Media wonderboy

Where do you see Jeziah and Dakota in 20 years?

Jeziah enjoys football. I predict he'll star as the title character in a remake of Jerry McGuire. We may "live in a cynical world," but Jeziah will bring down the house with the less famous Tom Cruise line: "I don't like black people? I am Mister black people." I'm not sure about Dakota. He's in the first grade and speaks highly of the Bible. He'll run Run's House.

What kind of parents produce children such as these? Who are they?

Beautiful, smart, wealthy parents, clearly. The kind of parents that have civilized family dinners and treat their children as adults — or, in this case, as mini moguls. The kind of parents who right about now are receiving a call from Pilar Guzman, the editor in chief of Cookie magazine. Yes, Cookie: don't pretend you don't secretly subscribe (cough, cough).

What are in their respective right pockets?

Their right hands and some bling too bright to flash.

How much ass do these kids get?

Ass? Please, these kids are too busy preparing their modeling contracts to represent Sean John. If they're not wearing Unforgivable, I don't know who is.