Say there, Mr. Mike Figgis, Oscar-nominated director of Leaving Las Vegas, what have you been up to lately? What's that? You've directed a 30-minute advertisement for Agent Provocateur lingerie that features cocaine mademoiselle Kate Moss wandering a dark mansion in her underwear? And while wandering and rolling around on a few beds, Kate intones a ludicrous voiceover so vague it could be used to sell lingerie, diamonds, cars, or investment securities? And much of the "film" is shot in infrared to give it that Paris Hilton sex tape je ne sais quoi? And — no, really? — it's designed mostly for viewing by downloading to mobile phones? You, Mike Figgis, are a testament to the omnivorous power of the modern auteur.