At Long Last, We Can Give Suri The Vulcan Ears She Should Have Been Born With

With so many different creatures from the mothership from which to choose, it could take forever for little Suri Cruise's Church-sanctioned OT-IV to select a Halloween costume that befits the blossoming seed of Scientology's future. So the folks at — who so recently helped us piss away a work day turning Mel Gibson into a Pope-hatted leather daddy — have provided us all a way to warm the cockles of our sooty hearts by playing Xenu with her wardrobe. Personally [Ed.note—Personally!], we enjoyed decking Suri out in Alf's full-body fur, Marvin the Martian's tutu, ET's finger, and a conehead — our tone scale shot clear up to the 35-and-over levels thinking about how adorable she's going to look when Katie Holmes and twenty-five handlers (opting not to change out of their usual sailor costumes—such killjoys) take her door-to-door at the Celebrity Centre to collect delicious, Hubbard-approved treats.