Hollywood PrivacyWatch: Shooting Fish In The Chateau Marmont's Well-Stocked Celebrity Barrel

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are now posted several times a week (well, most weeks)—so send them in like your lives depended on it. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let the world know about how first and business class airplane cabin divisions can tear a showbiz family apart.

In today's pretty damn big episode: Sam Rockwell, Piper Perabo, Courtney Love, the Olsen twins, and Vincent Gallo at the Chateau; Jeri Ryan knowing way too many Journey lyrics; Kiefer Sutherland scaring away prospective drinking buddies; Brad Grey, Paul Haggis, Anjelica Huston, Christopher Plummer, and Milo Ventimiglia; Thomas Schlamme and Christine Lahti; Paris Hilton, Pamela Anderson, Elisha Cuthbert, Kevin Federline, Cuba Gooding Jr, and Brandon Davis; Dennis Haysbert; Michael Keaton; Justin Timberlake and Bobby Brown; Orlando Bloom, Geoffrey Rush, Gwen Stefani, Gavin Rossdale, and Sean Lennon; Ted Danson, David Arquette, Courteney Cox, and Brooke Shields; Jessica Simpson; Kevin Smith; Jerry Seinfeld, Martin Short, and Larry King; Larry King; ; Don Cheadle and George Hickenlooper; Jason Schwartzman; Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel; Sharon Stone; Dane Cook; David Crosby; Kristen Bell; Alexis Bledel; Bradley Cooper; Jason Statham; Kelly Clarkson; Allison Janney and Patrick Dempsey; Zach Braff; Linda Hunt; Artie Lange; Julie Hagerty; Joely Richardson; Paula Poundstone; Judy Greer; Michael Cera; Reed Diamond and Eric Dane; Bruce Jenner; Justin Guarini; LL Cool J.

· It was like trying to catch a deluge of celebs in a paper cup at Chateau Marmont on Tuesday night (Oct 17). Was there with my intended for a joint b-day dinner. Cavalcade of stars began with the Piper Perabo dinner party right behind me (girlfriend was in her finest bartop sashaying form. Hot but taken by some handsy bf type who liked to smoke). Fiancee and I did our best to extract ourselves from the Perabo dinner and the first date unfolding next to us (d-boy and casting director talking shop mostly, apparently "Emilio is so difficult to work with") and managed to keep the good times rolling: Olsen Twins (MK looked like Darth Sidious in this ridiculous hooded sweater thing. Do clothes come in their sizes?) in the lobby and outside. During our drinks outisde we next went on the indie tip with Sam Rockwell (sporting glasses and some outstanding bedhead). Next up was Angie Harmon (thrilling in a blue sequined giddy-up). After her was Vincent Gallo (totally stared us down, but mostly the fiance.). After getting two right-leaning celebs in Harmon and Gallo I really expected the Hollywood Republican Convention to break out with Ron Silver showing up next, but instead who should stumble in, smelling like stripper and half-waddling and half-stumbling...the one celebrity who could tie this whole night together, Courtney Love. Just perfect.

After all that seeing Danny Bonaduce and the the VH1 Best Week Ever crowd at Social Hollywood on Thursday (Oct 19) seems decidedly less thrilling but Danny boy is small, ruddy and ripped.

Sad: Last night, I attended the Journey/Def Leppard concert at the Hollywood Bowl. More sad: We had better seats than TV's famed Seven of Nine and Trekkie Wank Fodder, Jeri Ryan. Most sad: Jeri Ryan knows every word to every Journey song ever written, even the obscure.

· It's really difficult to get a table at Ye Rustic Inn after work and nearly impossible if there's a game of any sort on. Friday night my friend and I just wanted to get some wings and maybe a pitcher or beer or two for dinner. All the booths were taken as usual but we spotted a jumbo booth in the corner and decided to approach the two lonely guys there and ask them if we could share their booth because we were starving. After getting close enough to the two to realize that one of them was Kiefer Sutherland, I did an about face and walked to the front of the room to wait for another 20 minutes. I'd rather wait for a booth than try and keep up with the 10 time world champion of boozery. He was with another middle aged guy and they didn't have any beer or food. Straight liquor for those two.... for sure we would have woken up in a Christmas Tree the next day.

· i saw brad grey at trader vic's last friday night. he was a wee bit slimy. i also saw paul haggis there which was annoying. i think he was with that woman who produced crash who's in a fight with the other two. i think? also saw anjelica huston, and christopher plummer, stumbling through the parking garage. oh and on a more minor note: i saw milo ventimiglia of "heroes" at the shoe shine on the 3rd st promenade. he looks just like he does on TV. cute as a button.

· was on a JFK-LAX flight Sunday morning and saw Tommy Schlamme get on with wife Christine Lahti and their daughter(I believe)...so she's wearing the mandatory leather jacket over hoodie with teenage-sized tight
jeans, sunglasses and baseball cap. But sexy! He's wearing schlumpy oversized shirt over baggy jeans. Whatever. But HE SITS UP FRONT IN FIRST CLASS and the ladies are shoved back in lowly Business Class with us immigrants. Just didn't seem chivalrous.

· So yesterday I said "sure why not" when a friend invited me to a birthday party for someone I'd never met. I figured it would be just another night, but turned into quite a show! Turns out Busta Rhymes was performing (he
was great, but why did he have his wireless cell ear piece in on stage? Was he expecting a call for a better gig? ). The attendees included Cuba Gooding Jr. (sporting a molestache), Elisha Cuthbert (very very cute), and Pamela Anderson (looking much more normal than I imagined). And on the funnier side, Paris Hilton (on stage w/ Busta, but looking in her compact or texting the whole time), Kevin Federline (shorted than I figured), and Brandon Davis (looking just as greasy as he does in all the photos). Unfortunately I ran into Davis in the bathroom, he reminded me of a 13 year old who was drunk for the first time. Loudly singing something like "lick it, snort it, suck it, fuck it" and repeating it over and over. Then he barged into the one stall (which was occupied) exclaiming "I have to piss!", although there were several urinals open.

· Saturday, 10/14, 9am: G-Town Represent! Spotted Dennis Haysbert of 24 (at my local Mobil gas station on north Glendale Ave., of all places.) Jeans, long-sleeve T-shirt, filling up his Bentley and chatting with the locals, even signing an autograph for a fan. It took every ounce of restraint to keep from yelling, "You rock, President Palmer!" out my window, but the man deserves some peace and quiet on a Saturday morning. That's how we roll in Glendale Fabulous.

· 10/17-Saw Michael Keaton today at that Amelia's, cute family run place on Main Street in Santa Monica. He was friendly and warm with the family. He looked much older than I remembered but not in a yuck kind of way, more of a, hmmmm, time is passing kind of way. He was dressed in really cool clothes and looked surprisingly hip. I was a little disappointed when he answered a woman who asked him about his trip to New Orleans and he said he didn't make an effort to see the damage in the city. He just stayed on the set and in his hotel in the nice areas. I guess I thought he'd be more curious than that - turns out he's just self involved like the rest of them.

· Yesterday I blew off going to the gym, and opted for the 4 Seasons bar, because it is that kind of week. And thank god I made that choice, because I got to see a surprisingly sedate looking Bobby Brown and friends. I held my tongue and didn't yell "crack is whack, hell to the no, doodie bubble." Sufficiently relaxed and liquored, I went to Social, where upon I saw someone I thought looked like a tiny little Justin Timberlake. Then I realized it was JT him self, bringing sexy back to liliputes all over the city. And producers Mike Jackson, and Brandon Monk were working the room like nothing I have ever seen.

· Saturday 10/14 at the sold-out Lily Allen Troubadour show, VIP lounge: Geoffrey Rush and Orlando Bloom (arriving separately), Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale rocking the casual look (Gwen in red ski-cap and Gavin with gorgeous flowing locks), Tony Kanal with requisite super-skinny, short-skirted female arm candy, and Sean Lennon, looking like a hip college professor. It was a "feast for the eyes" in the Paramount Pictures Commissary on Monday 10/16: Ted Danson (who once flirted with my mom in an elevator), a pin-stripe suited David Arquette with his little princess Coco (she wore ruby slippers), followed by a gorgeous and pin-thin Courteney Cox. Also seen on the lot: Brooke Shields in rollers, carrying a baby, heading to the "Nip/Tuck" soundstage. Not sure if it was a real baby or a fake baby...

· Lily Allen show 10/14 @ Troubadour: half the crowd was industry douchebags going up and down to the backstage green room, blabbering about the after party. One such douchebag was Sean Lennon. Also spotted Geoffrey Rush and Gwen Stefani (in red babushka hat) with Gavin Rossdale.

· sunday 10/15, 4pm at the gelson's in west hollywood: i was perusing the spices when i heard a brunette talking REALLY loud to her friend further up the baking aisle. brunette was saying, "oh my god, i can't believe you're making homemade fudge. you should have a cooking show. you could TOTALLY have a cooking show." i turned to see who this fudge-making, cooking-show-deserving friend was, and it was none other than ms. jessica simpson. she's pretty, but her outfit was clearly stolen from jennifer beals' "flashdance" wardrobe trunk. all of the latino checkers and baggers were watching her and rolling their eyes. dios mio!

· Just saw Kevin Smith in PSP2 section at EB Games on La Brea and Santa Monica. As usual, Kevin was wearing his "Hack" Jersey (does he own another shirt?) Almost more fun to watch were the EB Games employees, who were a little freaked out. However, even video store clerks can go Hollywood and gave me the "Dude, BE COOL!" when I double taked during a question about the availibity of "Scarface"

· 10/15: Seen: a bloated and greasy looking Kevin Smith at EB Games at the West Hollywood Gateway on Sunday afternoon. He was disappointed to learn they no longer took original PlayStation games as trade ins for credit towards Nintendo DS games for his daughter who was in tow.

· Saw Jerry Seinfeld with a few friends outside Jerry's Deli on Ventura Blvd. around 9:00 on Wednesday, October 11. Couldn't tell if he was leaving or waiting to go in, as we were in a car and leaving the parking lot. I would have missed him entirely if my girlfriend hadn't pointed him out. Saw Martin Short at Koi on Saturday, October 14. He was very thin, on crutches, and had very gray hair. I think he arrived in a cab - however, there was a Rolls Royce Silver Cloud that drove by the restaurant THREE TIMES while we were waiting on our car. No one ever got out - perhaps the sidewalk was a little crowded. Any readers know who has a beautiful Rolls with a license plate reading "PEN BH"? Because that's who I didn't see. Finally, saw Larry King on Sunday, October 15, in Beverly Hills in front of the Rite Aid on little Santa Monica. He was wearing a black jacket and jeans, but was immediately recognizable even without the red suspenders. We happened to fall into step with him while waiting on a walk signal, and saw his (very young, very cute!) sons run into his arms. A very sweet moment, they obviously adore him. Or maybe they were just happy that they were going to get cupcakes (we saw him again about 15 minutes later inside Sprinkles, where he left with two big bags).

· Last night (10/14). Staples Center, in the midst of another horrible Kings loss, another King. Larry, with his impossibly cute sons and wife sitting in the row in front of us. Their bodyguard displaced us (but what the hell). Kids very well behaved. The wife, Shawn, looks really plastic to me (but my date thought she was natural). But wow, Larry looks really bad. He has no business wearing jeans at his age. They left after the second period, so we were able to reclaim our regular seats.

· Wednesday night Oct 11th, 11pm Franklin Av Happy Hour at Birds. On the sidewalk with my friends when an intoxicated, creepy, rotund, 40-plus man tries to elbow his way into the conversation. One of my friends knows him, kind of, but I recoil from his drunken advances. He says his name is George Hickenlooper, director of the not yet released movie Factory Girl with Sienna Miller and Hayden Christensen. We fled from his presence anyway. Looked him up on IMDB...he's there, title/tt0432402/. He's still yucky. Sunday, October 8th, Don Cheadle, in the midst of a bunch of 60-something Jewish golfers at a country club in the Valley. Hanging with a lady friend at the restaurant, when I turned around he was gone. In and out, just like that. Couldn't have been more strange.

· Almost forgot about this one, since I'm starting to see him on a regular basis, but was standing in line
behind Jason Schwartzman at the Nature Mart on Hillhurst in Los Feliz. He seemed pretty mellow and was playfully affectionate with his red-headed lady friend and some other dude. Noticed what looked like a crude, hand-scrawled heart on the inside of his wrist, which felt very 4th grade but was kind of cute. He was sporting some jeans that he'd practically rolled up to his knees, which made him look even shorter than he is (about 5'5", I'm guessing), but since he's pretty adorable he can get away with it. He and his friends took their Rice Dream "ice cream", hopped into his
Prius, and took off.

· Saw Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel at one of the Beverly & Robertson furniture stores. They were in one of the back rooms. She was writhing around on a giant bean bag (probably some fancy name for it since it cost three grand, but it was just a bean bag). I told her that was why they put the bean bag in the back, so she wouldn't be writhing around in a big picture window on Beverly. She said, "No shit. This thing rocks."

· On Wednesday I was at the Dean/Burke jewelry party at Hyde. Marcellas Reynolds talking about his summer on Big Brother w/the designers. Then out of the blue Sharon Stone walks in wearing a pink coat over a black short dress. The room stood still. She is beautiful in person and was nice to everyone.

· 10/8 - Spotted Dane Cook leaving the theater at Century City on Sunday evening. He kept his cap pulled down and looked around a bit nervously as though he didn't want to get noticed. He checked his v-mail and/or made a call and appeared to be waiting for someone. His current co-star perhaps? She has been seen at the Century City mall this past week...

· Sat. 10/14 David Crosby & family at the cat show in Santa Barbara. He was surprisingly small and not as skeevy as one would expect. I restrained myself from commenting that CSN is nothing without Y—there was enough drama at the cat show already.

· Saw Veronica Mars (Kristen Bell) at Dragonfly on Monday Night (10/16). She is tiny, adorable and seemed totally boring and sober.

· Until today I never had a star sighting while sitting on my couch, since my "view" is the side of the adjacent apartment building in the Fairfax District. Against all odds, I looked up and saw Alexis Bledel and a blonde friend walking down the narrow path that runs between the buildings, inexplicably headed toward the parking lot and garbage cans in back. 30 minutes later, they walked back toward the street, so I'm certain I didn't imagine it. I also didn't imagine that the new season of "Gilmore Girls" would suck so bad, but that's due to new writers, not Alexis.

· Just saw Bradley Cooper (Wedding Crashers and Failure to Launch) at Alcove in Los Feliz around 1pm (Sunday). Looking really hot in an army-type olive green jacket and jeans, scruffy, he presumably ordered than hung out by the parking meters in front with some other guys. I gave him my best "let's make out" glance, but alas, it didn't work out.

· Thursday (10/19) Adidas Store in Santa Monica, just saw Brit action Jason Statham talking it up on his cell phone as he wandered amongst the track suits. Apparently "The Transporter" has never heard the term 'inside voice'.

· 10/11 - 10:30 am... KELLY CLARKSON on the FOX Studio Lot... she's doing a guest star on "Reba". Adorable and shorter in person than one
would assume...

· Sunday 10/8. Beverly Hills Hotel. Allison Janney- Looking fab-o with a shorter haircut. In excellent shape. Mc Dreamy (Patrick Dempsey) looking very handsome in a suit.

· 10/8: Saw Zach Braff at Greenblatt's Deli on Sunset. On his phone at the deli counter (something to the effect of "did you tell her that I was going to fly her out?"). Looked like he just worked out/woke up, did some stretching move and pulled up his t-shirt to expose a taught indie-belly. Bailed and got into a Toyota Tundra. Serious cred...

· Sure Linda Hunt has won an Oscar, but what does my inner geek do when I spot her at Whole Foods on 10/13?? Stalk her through the produce section while calling any friends who might care and whisper repeatedly into my cell phone, "omigod, I'm stalking the Shadout Mapes in Whole Foods!" That's what.

· 10/13: Just saw Howard Stern sidekick and ever expanding comedian Artie Lange having lunch at The Palm in West Hollywood. With some agent type. That is all.

· Boarding my LAX to Boston flight last Friday and stuck on the jetway behind Julie Hagerty, a.k.a. Elaine from Airplane—the best cinematic Stewardess (this was 1980, people) of all time! The irony was not lost on me and I decided right then and there to not order the fish if United Airlines had it on the menu. Sadly, when we entered the plane, Julie went left (word!) and went right (sucka). She was carrying a dog in a shoulder bag and was friendly to the two old ladies chatting her up about the canine. She has that same hippie little girl voice in real life as she did in the movie.

· 10/10- Joely Richardson today @ 3:30pm @ the PinkBerry just off of Santa Monica (Huntley Dr.) in West Hollywood. Dressed casual, looked great, semi-big sunglasses. She was polite and TALL. She had a plain medium yogurt with strawberries and pineapple and got it to go.

· Driving home yesterday (Mon 10/9) taking a short cut past Santa Monica HS, got caught behind a slow moving red mini-van, it was a mom driving w/ bunch of kids. So I take the time to read her bumber sticker: "In the big picture, I don't need to drive that well" (or something like that) followed by "paulapoundstone.com" While mulling this over, and attempting to pass on the right, I look at the driver and see it is in fact Paula Poundstone. Neither funny enough to laugh, nor pathetic enough to cry; but just plain odd.

· Around 9 am today (10/10) I was on Larchmont getting a Starbucks when I noticed a blonde lady walking a huge, slobbery white dogs. I love dogs so I almost missed the fact that his human companion was JUDY GREER. I love her! She was fantastic on ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT. Oh, poor ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT, RIP. Anyway, Judy had no make on, dressed down, you know, walkin' the dog. Looked totally normal. She must live close by to Larchmont, I saw her there once before in the Mailboxes Etc. store.

· I saw a skinny looking Michael Cera (aka George Michael Bluth) at the Sufjan Stevens show at the Wiltern (10/9), loitering in the lobby between acts. I almost did a double take, but looks like our boy George Michael has good taste in music...

Last night (10/12) at my neighborhood Trader Joe's on Santa Monica and Poinsettia, Reed Diamond (who will always be Lt. Mike Kellerman of Baltimore Homicide to me) grocery shopping. He was with a small, older-looking red head who he called "Baby" ad naseum. He looked strangely both younger and older than I would have expected. In my "Homicide" fanatic days he didn't get my pulse racing like Lt. Tim Bayliss, but I still got giddy like a little school-girl over the siting. And I know that second-hand sitings are lame, but I got enough detail that I feel like I could have been there. Moments ago (11:30 am on 10/13) my sister and her friend spotted the almost-painfully gorgeous McSteamy (Eric Dane) walking solo down Melrose near the Bodhi Tree bookstore. He was swathed in black and hiding behind dark sunglasses. Talking on his phone, he rounded a corner onto a side-street, then stopped in front of an apartment building while continuing his phone conversation. We speculate that he may live there, but I'll have to pull some round-the-clock stalking duty this weekend if I want to confirm it.

· Ok, so this sighting is pretty D-list, but since it was so entertaining, I must share. ..
Wednesday night I flew in to LAX on the next-to-last connecter du jour from Dallas. I managed to upgrade to 1st class just before the flight boarded, and as usual, it was booked full. I didn't really notice anyone of import as I settled in. It wasn't until we had aririved and began to congregate before our baggage carousel that I noticed him.....up walks (actually he sashayed a little) a mid-50-ish, tall, rather dated looking guy in a 2-piece, mauve, Adidas velour running suit.......and....wait for it.....a pair of thatch-woven, black, leather-ette VANS (WTF??).
He had his driver, totally decked in suit, WITH DRIVER's HAT, following behind him with a SmarteCart to fetch his luggage. Well now I really start looking (easily done under the guise of craning up to see the luggage circulating) It was none other than Bruce Jenner (of 70's Olympic Decathlon fame, and a regular apprearance schedule on all the great variety shows and game shows....not to mention the best-selling Wheaties box photo to date!) seem to remember a Disney film, too..
Lots of others were looking at him, trying to place him....but NO ONE COULD!
There was a lot of elbowing and whispering and shrugging of shoulders....but no one said a word, and mind you, there were plenty of touristas in the crowd who would have! I must say, he is still fit looking and lean, but the picture-perfect bod that he wore so well has gone the way of those variety shows..
I must also say he really did not look as good as he probably should have. Believe it or not, he still has, basically, the same hairstyle he wore in the 70's—-albeit nowadays with bad highlights in over-processed, "not a color found in nature" hair—-loosely based on auburn, I'd say.
Plus, he's had LOTSO work on the face, and sadly, none of it good.....especially the bugged-out eyes. As I stood there sizing him up, I couldn't help but picture him in a chair at Jose Eber, smocked, with a head full of foils under a heat lamp......those bugged-out, lidless eyes shining....
Now wouldn't THAT make a great Wheaties box photo?!!

Hollywood PrivacyWatch: Shooting Fish In The Chateau Marmont's Well-Stocked Celebrity Barrel

· I saw this guy at Tower Records on the Promenade.

· Justin Guarini (is he still famous?), Oct. 12, around midnight, at that bar couple of doors down from the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater. He talked to all the girls and made the rounds.

· [Ed.note—Way out of area, but this time we'll make an exception.] There's no Le Privacy Watch for when I'm on vacation but this is my greatest sighting yet. Wandering around the Louvre yesterday (Oct 8th @ 1:45) in the renaissance wing I saw a group coming towards me lead by a man in bright red with quarter sized diamond earrings. As I realized it was LL cool J, I turned to confirm just in time to see one of Ladies Love's entourage notice "Orphee chamant les animaux"s missing dick. He pointed and screamed "Oh shit!" and then laughed so hard he had to rest his head and arms on the statue's thigh. So funny.