This image was lost some time after publication.

A Defamer reader grew momentarily confused upon receiving their latest issue of National Geographic: What on Earth was the officially sanctioned portrait of Hollywood superproducer Brian Grazer doing on a magazine that usually covers the kinds of far-reaching and globally significant topics that Grazer himself regularly mines for Oscar gold? The answer, of course, lay in plain view, with a subhed that read "3.3-million-year-old bones discovered," which merely hinted at the sumptuous payoff that lay inside: 13 full-color pages of the most exciting paleontological discovery to come along in a while, featuring a perfect specimen of what researchers are now calling the "Earliest Producer," found lodged for undisturbed millennia at the discovery site, a corner table at The Grill on the Alley.