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As mentioned in our earlier post on the Post's self-fellation over the fruition of its six-year plan to beat the Daily News is the 1,400-word (!) article by Kevin Fucking Federline.

Well, not exactly. The byline goes to K-Fed but at the end of the piece are the five magic words, "As told to Maureen Callahan". And it's not so much an article as it is a pro-bono advertorial for his album that's 'dropping' today; the only way to out-puff a puff piece is to have your subject tell you what to write. There isn't much in the article that you didn't already know from the first half hour of Behind the Music: Vanilla Ice, so we'll just get you to the relevant part.

I honestly think the media is a give-and-take. It's not that I can say, Completely f - - k you. I could just only say, Halfway f - - k you. But I know why they do it. It's because they're making a lot of money. So I can't be mad at you.

But I like that real journalism. I like putting other people's words in a sentence and making people, like, their faces light up about it. Not frown. Light up.

So that's halfway fuck you, faces light up. Got it. Where was he when we were in J-School?

Oh, and you can still get tickets for his show on Saturday. We can't guarantee that there actually will be a show, however.